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Crussell's list of things I've learned about Cats ...

1. Cat shit STINKS
2. The maximum distance a cat can spray litter from it's poo tray it's directly proportionate to the evil stench emitting from said tray
3. No amount of ozone depleting sprays can get rid of the smell of (1) and (2)
4. For some reason I've yet to fathom it's possible to get cat hair inside your socks - even when you're wearing them.
5. Feeding cats strawberry flavoured licorice laces is not big or clever, and the red vomit stains take forever to get out of the carpet.
6. Cats fart .. loudly ... especially at 3am.
7. My feet are not a suitable cat toy.
8. Always make sure you have antiseptic in the house if you insist on sneezing while the cat sleeps on your chest
9. I am positive that while we're asleep the cat's dig Colditz-style escape tunnels in case we decide one day to take them to the vets. There is most definitely one somewhere behind the bed as it's physically impossible for Tom to vanish int he blink of an eye when he was most certainly there before I reached around to get the cat box.
10. Cats like the TV on when they sleep on my bed. Mind you, it has to be a suitable station. Anything with pop tunes goes down well. However, cats apparently hate the History Channel or anything to do with light entertainment - its impossible to introduce them to Monty Python and Friends results in an orgy of litter flicking from the poo tray downstairs.