I am currently sitting in the living room of a company house, deep in the heart of Cambridge. CSI is on TV and a rat just crawled out of the mouth of a corpse.
The rat I can stand, but what;s really getting on my proverbials is quite possibly the world's most irritating advertisement. Brit readers might have seen it, it tries to sell mobile phone ringtones, and one in particular that's so utterly, utterly, utterly irritating I now want to smash the television in.
It's that BLOODY MOTORCYCLE-NOISE-MAKING FROG. Now, Im an animal lover – I give to animal charities, I'm owned by three catsand Wibbly Pig rocks but that bloody frog makes me want to commit murder – and it's not even real!
So, if you read in the news of any frog-related homicides in the Cambridge area, it wasn't me. No way. Not ever. I wasn't there officer, honest ...
And while I'm on the subject of things that really piss me off – how about those Seikhs in Birmingham who didn't like a play that was on at the local theatre, so they held a mini “protest†that saw property damaged and three police officers injured?
Obviously, it's totally illegal to say anything inflammatory about the situation so let me say hurrah little Seikh fellas, good work on proving that you can get whatever you want, however you want, as long as you can claim it upsets your religion. It makes me feel so good inside to know that the ordinary people of the UK have no right to say or do anything that offends you personally or your religion.
Actually, it reminds me of a song lyric from “You Can't Bring Me Down†by Suicidial Tendencies:
Have I offended you?
Oh I'm sorry but maybe you need to be offended,
Well here's my apology and one more thing -
FUCK YOU
Should I wait to see if this blog gets surrounded by Seikhs in the next few days ?
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