It's coming around to that time again, yes folks, there's a whiff of election in the air!
For the last few weeks the country has been pulled to the brink of interest at the thought of a new government to lead this sceptred isle through the next few years.
For the foreigners and knuckle-draggers out there, here's a quick rundown on the main parties:
* Labour Party: The party of the "people", though who the "people" are is anybody's guess - they certainly haven't done anything for this "people" int eh last ten years apart from rip me off and piss me off. Currently led by the disgusting liar Blair, backed up by Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott (that's him in the image punching a British voter) and backed up by a variety of whining half-baked politicians who no-one can remember the name of. Labour represent the "working class".
Important things to know about the party we "know and love"
* They started a war we didn't want * Their leader is a total wanker * The deputy Prime Minister can hit people whenever he wants and get away with it (see picture) * The Prime Minister managed to walk away from a scandal involving property purchases and an Aussie Con Man * They acknowledge issues like immigration are a problem and need to be addressed but don't explain why they've done sod all about it during the last 10 years * They only raise "serious issues" during an election campaign * If they win, Britain is totally fucked
* Conservative Party: The right-wing of British politics. Led by a bloke that not many people seem to like and who was portrayed in Labour Party advertisements as a pig (unfortunate when you're Jewish). The Tories (as they are known) are the champions of the Middle Class (ie the ones who work hardest and get ass-raped for tax more than the Upper Class and the Working Class).
* Liberal Democrats: The smiley, mid-ground of British politics. Their favourite colour is yellow and they're quite happy. That's about all that's known about them other than the fact they always come third.
So there you go - everything you need to know about British politics - vote wisely now!
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