July 2005 Archives

At midnight tonight the new Harry Potter novel (Harry Potter and the Franchise O'the Gods I believe it's called) will finally hit the streets. Many bookstores are opening at mighnight to flog it to a diverse group of people ranging from the under 10s right through to pensioners.Ther are plans for dress-up competitions, magic shows and much more and fans of the series. Apparently it's going to be "amazing", "wonderful" and a "real experience" (half-arsed quoting from various Rowling fan sites).

Amazing really that the same people who find this kind of experience "amazing" and "wonderful" look down their noses when Star Wars fans attend a premier opening dressed in all the garb and grand then geeks and losers.

I refer you, m'lud, to the case of pot v kettle ....

If you see this arsehole ....

Run up and give him a kicking - then post a comment on this thread and let me know you've done it.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - London was the scene of carnage on Thursday after a series of deadly blasts but American R&B crooner Omarion, who suffered no injury or inconvenience, wants people to pray for him.

"Omarion was in London during the tragic bombings that struck this morning," a statement by the singer's publicist AR PR Marketing, released hours after the bombings, said.

Making no mention of the fatalities or casualties of the blasts, the singer's statement concluded, "He would like his fans to pray that he has a safe trip and a safe return home. He appreciates your support."

He was in London for Saturday's Live 8 show, his publicist Shana Gilmore told Reuters from Los Angeles. Asked why anyone should pray for him, Gilmore said, "He wasn't hurt or anything, but just the fact that he was there and all that."

Omarion was the teenaged lead singer of the chart-topping band B2K before going solo. The 20-year-old's first solo album "O" debuted at No. 1 of Billboard charts earlier this year.

38 dead and 700+ injured and still the Union Flag flies high.I'm not prone to bouts of jingoism - it's not the British way of doing things - but in spite of the carnage, the misery and the suffering, the people of London stood firm today and showed the rest of the world, and the spineless scum behind the bombings, that we will not be beaten into submission.

My sympathies and thoughts go out to all those who died, were injured and who lost loved ones today - though no-one can ever know the pain the survivors and their families are going through.

When something like this happens, I'm always reminded of the words of World War II Prime Minister Winston Churchill, who summed up the atitude of the country when he said :

"... we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old."

On the subject of the terrorist filth that perpetrated today's violence - You can run, but you can't hide forever. One day, somewhere we will find you and you better prey we're in a good mood ...

Japanese mental health councellor Akira Haraguchi has broken the world record for reciting pi after memorising the first 83,431 digits of the number.Impressive stuff indeed.

What's notable however is that Haraguchi-san had to stop three hours into the record attempt and start again when he lost his place...

Makes you wonder if there's a world record for reciting pi while pissed, I can imagine it now ...

"3.141592 ... 4? ... fuckit ... 3.8542 ... no, no lemme try again. 3.14155555 ... I love you, I really, really love you. Can I throw up now ... " and so on for ten minutes before the record attempt ends in the attemptee falling asleep in a plateful of egg fried rice.

Is there any wonder we hate the French ?

By all accounts, French president Jacques Chirac has been having a pop at Britain during a meeting with Russian and German leaders.

He allegedly made a series of comments including : "The only thing they've ever done for European agriculture is mad cow" and "We can't trust people who have such bad food. After Finland, its the country with the worst food".

It seems Mr Chirac, like a lot of his countryfolk, is suffering from a very serious disease. It's called nevergetswashed-itis and is a side effect of the fact that French people use less soap then any other European country. The filth and grime from all the garlic-eating that goes on over there coats the skin and slowly poisons them as time wears on.

By all accounts, the only time they didn't suffer from this illness was in the mid-20th century when many of the French were suffering from a condition known as "collaboration" - an illness worse then nevergetswashed-itis which is preceeded by symptoms of "surrender-itis" and "running-away-like-a-garlic-swilling-bog-trotting-traitor-itis". The only known cure for these conditions is to blubber like a baby until the rest of the world comes to your aid, whereupon you tell anyone who'll listen who terrible the whole thing was and you only did what was necessary ... (please note, the above doesn *not* refer to those awfully good chaps from the French Resistance who, unlike the majority of their countryfolk puts their lives on the line for freedom rather then gorging themselves on rancid cheese and practicing the Goosestep in case of an extended stay by foreign invaders).

oooh! ooh! It's the G8 concert!

Apparently we're supposed to be over the moon because loads of people are doing something to end world hunger which revolves around watching a load of musicians "entertain" us for hour after painful hour.

The Irish tramp Geldof has gone to great lengths to promote this event (see also: revive flagging career) as he considers it to be the most important thing in the world, ever.

But I can't help thinking that rather then getting people to piss tens of thousands or pounds away on travel to the gig, food at the gig, tickets for the gig, the t-shirts etc etc he money would have been better spent on food to send to the starving millions.

Geldof caused a huge fuss when people who got free tickets to G8 promptly tried to sell them on Ebay - apparently this was unethical. But what about the food and drink vendors inside the stadium today selling vastly overpriced goods because they've got a captive audience to flog it to - who will complain about that?

Still at least we all know what the 8 in G8 stands for. It's a reference to the number of bands who can actually play live while the rest mime to tapes in an effort to keep the world's "yoof" happy.

In the long term however, everything will work out fine - all the acts who play today will receive a major shot in the arm for their careers and Geldof will be hailed a saint (again) .

Oh, and some fly-covered, AIDS-riddled starving black people might get a few quid too if they're lucky ...

Richard Whitely's dead

Good. The man was a 100% cunt. I met him once at a Yorkshire TV press shindig and the man was so far up his own arse it was untrue.

In tribute to the fat, squat tosser here's a conundrum for you all...

"godo fckuing riddacne" - vowel anyone ?