According to a new poll, my home town of Hull is the worst place to live in Britain. I find this hard to believe when there are places like Slough around.
In order to rally to Hull's defence, here's a few interesting facts about the place, and some counter facts about my own personal fav for the worst city in the world - Slough.
* The city name is Kingston Upon Hull. Hull is the river on which the city is sited, so I guess officially the city's true name is Kingston.
* The roots of the English Civil War lie in Hull when King Charles was forbidden entry to the city (then walled) by Sir John Hotham
* Hull for a time boasted the longest single single-span suspension bridge in the world.
* THe port of Hull (once famed for it's fishing industry) was once the largest whaling port in the world.
Facts about Slough
* It was the featured town in top TV show The Office, which featured an irritating little man running a sickening little office surrounded by grey people.
* The average IQ of a Slough resident is slightly lower than snake shit as are their manners.
* The most common occupation in Slough is, according to my research, "shoplifter".
* Local laws in Slough make it a requirement for all girls aged 15 and over to be pregnant all the time, extra benefit money is handed out to those with black babies... innit ...
* I worked there for five years and detested every sodding second.
* A recently unearthed portion of the modern bible revealed:"On the 8th day God had a slightly dodgy tummy. And lo! He bent asunder, splayed his buttocks and shat out a Slough so all the world would have somewhere to send the crap they didn't want any more...
* The name Slough sounds a little bit like the noise you make when you drink too much beer then vomit copiously all over the living room floor ...
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