So, it seems that both here and in the US those assclowns on the political left have decided that the Christians can't celebrate [censored]mas because we might upset someone that's not Christian - bit rich considering it's a Christian festival isn't it? There's no sign yet that Diwali has to have it's religious connotations stripped away or Kwanza, just [censored]mas.
So, here's my suggestion. Let's do away with the apallingly offensive word [censored]mas and with the half-baked phrases like "The Holidays" and introduce a festival which Christians can enjoy but which makes it clear that other religious groups could stay clear for fear of taking offense.
Therefore, I suggest calling it the "Non-heathen-non-half-arsed-dimwit-deity-from-the-Middle-East"-mas. Should be clear enough, contains a nod to the Middle Eastern types and is suitably inflammatory to the point where everyone can whine about it and feel good about themselves.
So folks, if I don't add another entry before Dec 25, HAPPY NHNHADDFTME-MAS and a politically correct New Year to you all!!!!! (though using the "New" in New Year suggests there's an old one, which is probably ageist so maybe we should stick with Have A Moderately Pleasant January 1 instead).
One final thing, if you find this post in any way offensive, please feel free to fuck off to somewhere where Christmas doesn't exist and drown yourself - it'll make NHNHADDFTME-MAS so much pleasant for those us that enjoy turkey, chestnut stuffing and The Two Ronnies...
Footnote: There's some doubt about whether the corpse of George Best was really the man himself. Alcohol tests on the body could only provide 97 percent proof it was him...
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