I love summer, mostly, apart from those filthy, creepy evil flying things which seem drawn to me whereever I am. The worst of the lot are those bloody Daddy Long Legs things which are obviously agents of Satan determined to turn my life into a living hell.
There's only one answer and that's the battery-operated fly swat we bought from Maplin last year. Oh yes, it's devilish in the extreme and produces a damn great spark when one of nature's devils flies straight into it - muwahahahaha (etc etc).
As daft as it sounds, bugs and things with tiny jaws are always a problem for me - wherever I go I seem to get the crap bitten out of me. The other year we went to visit friends in the US and I got bitten by chiggers which left their mark for SIX weeks. In Jamaica, an island which is sprayed to keep the bug population down, I went for a midnight stroll on the beach and when I got back to the hotel I had bites so bad it looked like the measles.
If only someone would invent the equivalent of an elephant gun for bugs - then I'd be a very happy man ...
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