Important news form Iraq where the locals are currently blaming the appearance of a fearsome new strain of beast on British troops ...
By all accounts giant badgers, which were "deliberately" released by British forces have been terrorising homes and farms. In one stomach-churningly violent attack, farmer Sattar Jabbar(50) witnessed an appalling incident of cattle mutilation:
"I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it," he said.
British Army spokesman Major David Gell countered the claims of Jabber by saying:
"If you cornered it and poked it with a stick, then the smart money would be on the badger," warned Gell, who has faced many rumours like this one in his tour in Iraq.
"We have not released giant badgers in Basra," he said, "and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river."
So, who's lying???? EVERYONE knows the British Army is famous for it's subversive wildlife division so probably them, after all the Iraqis are all utter innocents who would never spread lies, untruths or rumours ... obviously ...
Oddly though, Major Gell was strangely silent when quizzed about the 2nd Hampshire Cod-mando force - I hear they're ruthless ...
